Monday, September 24, 2007

I'm Single, Not Desperate

It's no secret I'm single. Sadly Single. Woefully single. Single. Single. Single.

Single like Sally on the old Dick Van Dyke show.

With one exception.

Sally was desperate, so much so that she put up with Herman Glimshire...and his mother.

I, on the other hand, am pretty particular. I don't want to be with someone just to be with someone. I want to be with someone because I WANT to be with him.

Does that make any sense?

Of course, that doesn't mean that others don't think I should be with someone...ANYONE...just to be with someone. I don't want a profile on so that I can find some other person desperately seeking a partner and finding someone suitable to settle with. I don't want to settle. Ever.

Over the weekend I went with my parents to a local diner for lunch. Being frequent visitors to the diner, we know the staff, including the owner, who sat down with us to chat. Naturally, it was during this time that my father "remembered" his boss's wife telling him she'd 'found' someone nice for me. I didn't even know I'd commissioned her to look. My father took great delight in telling us about this...this....window washer. A self employed window washer who was also several years my junior. My parents and the diner owner took great delight, heartily laughing at my expense, while I voiced my objections at the entire situation. A window washer? I am a professional, I protested, red-faced, and therefore seeking an intellectual equal!

I acted insulted, but in reality, I was angry and hurt...and embarrassed. It made me feel like I was some sort of failure, so great a failure that someone thought "Hey! Here's a single fella who's actually breathing! He'd be perfect for Lisa!"

Why do people insist on having to try to 'set up' single people? Why is it so difficult to comprehend that maybe single people are happy being, well, single?

If I wanted to be married, goodness knows I could have been married to any number of men. But, much like the ugly step sisters and the glass slipper, I didn't find the fit comfortable.

I had a philosophy class ages ago in college, and while I don't remember exactly who's philosophy it was, I do remember the theory: The search for true love was the search for ones "other half". Back at the beginning of time, man was a being with two half's: male and female. One day, man angered the gods who decided that man had to suffer and split the two parts in half, setting them down on opposite sides of the world, and forcing them to search for their one true love, their other half.

Perhaps my "other half" has the same terrible sense of direction that I have and is as hopelessly lost as I am.

In any event, I'll wait for him. The law of averages tells me we'll eventually cross paths. And when we do, we'll know...and we'll find our way together.


Ruby Anne said...

I'm with you on this one. I get tired of it as well. I was married for 12 years and he cheated on me and left. So now because he was an idiot, I have to suffer the comments of when will I be looking for a replacement.

I'm not in a hurry either. I have been single for 7 yrs and plan on another two yrs til I get my gorgeous daughter into college. That way, maybe I'll find a man who wants to be with me and not one who wants to get to my kid (yea, yea....I know I've been watching too much TV, BUT hey, you never know).

I don't belong to either because I don't wanna look like some desperate loser.

I hope my other half will find me one day and I hope he has nice teeth (and his own money).

Lisa said...

You are a good mommy :) There are some who should take a lesson from you, girl!

Ronda said...

If you're happy being single, just ignore people who think otherwise. I understand you not wanting to be with just anyone just to be with someone. I hate it when people settle like that! That's not real love and what is a relationship without real love?

That said, I see nothing wrong with a window washer. You make it sound like there is something wrong with him, because of his job. You know, there are some really smart people who settle for simple jobs, because they are truly happy that way.
See people for who they really are inside.

j_radzin said...

The story of the two halves comes from Plato's Symposium and it is told by one of the members present, Aristophanes. Just thought you would like to know.

Lisa said...

thanks, jradzin! :)