So last night I fell asleep to a repeat of the Shep & Greta show. For some reason, instead of dreaming about Shepard Smith, as I would have hoped to, I dreamed about Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs.
Now, dare I say, Mike's pretty darn easy on the eyes~except in this dream.
It was very, very, weird.
I was downtown, in a building that I recognized but could not place. It was near Madison Square Garden, though. And it was decorated inside like it was the 1970s. For some reason, I think it was actually One Police Plaza, except that it was in the wrong neighborhood. Anyway, inside the building was an outlet store, like, the QVC outlet in Lancaster, PA, selling all sorts of reduced and tacky Christmas crap. Naturally I was shopping. Then I noticed a handsome man lurking in the very 70s lobby. He was wearing jeans, a button down shirt and had a messenger bag slung. He was also wearing the ugliest beige suede shoes I had ever seen. They looked like closed back clogs, with elastic gussets at the instep. Something like an orthopedic shoe worn by a Keebler elf. And I realized: THAT'S MIKE ROWE FROM DIRTY JOBS!! He looked at me, realized I knew who he was, and ran out of the building. I couldn't help but get the feeling he was stalking me. So, ever the frustrated law enforcement officer, I took off after him, but alas, he was gone. I went back into the shop and continued to shop. It was set up like the tables I saw at the Gingerbread House competition they show on FoodNetwork every year. I hung around That 70s Lobby for a while, waiting for my ride (I have NO idea why I was waiting for a ride~or even who the ride was, but there I stood) It was cold outside, and the people walking past the large windows were bundled up. And there he was...Mike Rowe, messenger bag slung, no coat on, shirt open enough so that I could see a tease of the downy hair on his beautiful chest, staring at me through the window.
Yes, it was true.
Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs was stalking ME.
That's when I woke up.
Not sure what was in the bag I had from the QVC outlet store in That 70s Building, or what was in Mike Rowe's messenger bag, but what I REALLY want to know is...
WHERE THE HELL DID MIKE ROWE GET SUCH AN UGLY PAIR OF SHOES???